Two weeks ago, it was two snakes slithering in my garage that scared the dickens outta me.
Tonight it was a mouse. Eek! A MOUSE!!!!!
I need to get a cat, pronto!
11.04.2009
10.30.2009
Smarty Pants
"Mommy, I drink water and it goes in belly. Then I go pee and it goes in toilet."
This is a conversation with my two year old as he had a glass of water this morning.
Amazing!
This is a conversation with my two year old as he had a glass of water this morning.
Amazing!
10.27.2009
Mmmm Hmmm
Hubby has been mysteriously "sick" the past couple days. Pathetic cough, sleeping on the couch, not helping one single bit with the children.
But I'll be damned, when his brother called to ask him to hit the bar tomorrow night, he agreed.
And I told him that if he dare lay one more minute on that couch acting sick while feeling well enough to drink, he'll have to take his beer through a straw because I'll bust his jaw.
But I'll be damned, when his brother called to ask him to hit the bar tomorrow night, he agreed.
And I told him that if he dare lay one more minute on that couch acting sick while feeling well enough to drink, he'll have to take his beer through a straw because I'll bust his jaw.
10.26.2009
Teeth Rottin' Good Time!
While frosting sugar cookies with my toddler today, I was distracted by my crying baby. Doing what any mommy would do, I walked away from the toddler to tend to the baby. And doing what any toddler would do, he shoved as much frosting in his mouth as he could fit while I wasn't in the room.
Touche kiddo. Touche!
Touche kiddo. Touche!
10.23.2009
Money Tree, Where Art Thou?
I recently started contemplated a return to work. Except this time around, I have two children and a mom who will no longer be my daycare provider. So looking into daycare made me realize I can't afford to go back to work. How sad is that? I mean, $8/hour for daycare...are you serious?! I'd barely net enough to justify spending 40 hours away from my munchkins.
This sucks. For real. I need to figure out a way to work from home. IDEAS! Anyone have any ideas?
This sucks. For real. I need to figure out a way to work from home. IDEAS! Anyone have any ideas?
10.22.2009
Only in Detroit
My husband works for an industry that requires him to go on location to some pretty seedy areas, the ghettos of Detroit being one of them. Lucky him, right? Well I'll be damned if some punk tried careening his car *towards* my husband yesterday in an attempt to run him over.
WTF?
Now I worry about him leaving to work. Which I never did before because the job isn't supposed to be that dangerous.
And on a lighter note, I'm also looking into increasing his life insurance policy. lol
WTF?
Now I worry about him leaving to work. Which I never did before because the job isn't supposed to be that dangerous.
And on a lighter note, I'm also looking into increasing his life insurance policy. lol
The Recession's Still a Brewin'
You know times are tough when stores like K-Mart are running television ads for their layaway options. I wasn't even aware layaway was still around. Growing up in a humble (aka poor) household, my mom lived by the 'shop now, pay bits at a time' practice. I'm familiar. I just couldn't use it because I'm a gen-x'er...I'm all about instant gratification.
10.21.2009
Here's a Thought...
Daily massages and foot rubs should be mandatory for a husband to give his wife. If not, his penis will self-destruct.
Don'tcha agree ladies?
Don'tcha agree ladies?
Turtle Turtle
Long time no chat my friends. In honor of my "comeback", I promise to write one new post a day for a week. If you read and keep the comments a comin', I'll keep postin'. Pinkie swear.
So let's talk about my babe. Babe is approaching 4 months old already and he's sure in a hurry to grow up. In startling discovery, babe has two teeth wanting to pop through AND is crawling. Okay, so he's not actually crawling yet but he's got the leg movements down and worms himself across the floor. Once he figures out the upper body, he's gonna be a mover and a shaker. Kinda breaks my heart. I was hoping he'd take things slow. I wanna savour his infant-ness but he has other plans obviously.
What's next? His first chest hair and 9 months? I mean, geesh!
So let's talk about my babe. Babe is approaching 4 months old already and he's sure in a hurry to grow up. In startling discovery, babe has two teeth wanting to pop through AND is crawling. Okay, so he's not actually crawling yet but he's got the leg movements down and worms himself across the floor. Once he figures out the upper body, he's gonna be a mover and a shaker. Kinda breaks my heart. I was hoping he'd take things slow. I wanna savour his infant-ness but he has other plans obviously.
What's next? His first chest hair and 9 months? I mean, geesh!
5.25.2009
Lazy Sack of Bones
Who thought being pregnant would make you too lazy to do even something as simple as blog?! I am so exhausted lately the mere thought of firing the laptop up makes me wanna take a nap.
To my handful of followers, I'm sorry for the neglect. I suck. And I admit it. But I'll try to be better. I pinkie swear!
To my handful of followers, I'm sorry for the neglect. I suck. And I admit it. But I'll try to be better. I pinkie swear!
5.09.2009
Get In My Belly!
I have been stricken with the preggo curse.
You know, the one that makes my round belly become a magnet for all things dirty.
I haven't had a clean shirt make it a whole day since the third trimester hit! Just tonight during dinner I had a big ole clump of hot fudge drip all down the buddha. I'm sure my poor stomach warranted a chuckle or two from passers-bye...
You know, the one that makes my round belly become a magnet for all things dirty.
I haven't had a clean shirt make it a whole day since the third trimester hit! Just tonight during dinner I had a big ole clump of hot fudge drip all down the buddha. I'm sure my poor stomach warranted a chuckle or two from passers-bye...
5.04.2009
Woe Is Me
There are some things "they" keep secret from you before getting pregnant. "They" are friends, family members, and doctors that don't want to scare you into celebacy.
Because if I would have known BEFOREHAND the secret woes that come with pregnancy, I may have reconsidered adoption a little harder.
Things like...
Stretch marks (hey, J.Lo and Posh Spice doesn't have any, so I figured I could get that lucky too)
Hemorroids
Engorged nether regions
Painful ta-ta's
Loss of bladder control
Heartburn. Not just slight heartburn. I'm talking dragon-breathing-fire-heartburn.
Leaking breasts
Huge nipples
Absolute loss of brain power
Hair growing in places you never knew it could
...and I'm sure there's more but my heartburn is kicking and I can't remember anything else right now...
Because if I would have known BEFOREHAND the secret woes that come with pregnancy, I may have reconsidered adoption a little harder.
Things like...
Stretch marks (hey, J.Lo and Posh Spice doesn't have any, so I figured I could get that lucky too)
Hemorroids
Engorged nether regions
Painful ta-ta's
Loss of bladder control
Heartburn. Not just slight heartburn. I'm talking dragon-breathing-fire-heartburn.
Leaking breasts
Huge nipples
Absolute loss of brain power
Hair growing in places you never knew it could
...and I'm sure there's more but my heartburn is kicking and I can't remember anything else right now...
5.01.2009
Case In Point
Men are serial jackasses.
Take for instance Jon, AKA the father on Jon & Kate Plus 8. When you're in the public eye for being a family man and father to a huge brood, you lose little things...like privacy!!!
Why would he be seen out on the town with another woman void his wedding ring?! It's such a bummer because infidelity is bad enough. Having it smeared in the public eye is a double whammy. Having children involved is just heartbreaking.
Guilty or innocent, Jon is a jackass. Shame on him.
Take for instance Jon, AKA the father on Jon & Kate Plus 8. When you're in the public eye for being a family man and father to a huge brood, you lose little things...like privacy!!!
Why would he be seen out on the town with another woman void his wedding ring?! It's such a bummer because infidelity is bad enough. Having it smeared in the public eye is a double whammy. Having children involved is just heartbreaking.
Guilty or innocent, Jon is a jackass. Shame on him.
4.30.2009
Gun Control
Call me ridiculous but I never wanted my son to own a fake gun. I thought it induced violence so I swore I wouldn't allow him to have one.
Well, he decided to become a crazy boy anyways and would use his fingers to make a fake gun. So what the heck? We got him a Nerf gun and within minutes, he mastered that bad boy.
Wow
Sick dog.
Son who fell down the stairs and needed x-rays to make sure he didn't break his nose.
Husband who fled to the bedroom to take a nap after returning from the hospital.
Wife stuck cooking, cleaning, bathing child, tending to sick dog, all while still being a tad under the weather.
Ugh.
Son who fell down the stairs and needed x-rays to make sure he didn't break his nose.
Husband who fled to the bedroom to take a nap after returning from the hospital.
Wife stuck cooking, cleaning, bathing child, tending to sick dog, all while still being a tad under the weather.
Ugh.
4.29.2009
The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful
Today was a hell of a day...
So far I've been very lucky throughout my pregnancy. Other than some nasty morning sickness that lasted a whopping 18 weeks, I've felt fantastic. Well, all poop hit the fan today!
I had contractions all morning, which were so strong that I couldn't stand up straight. I also had heartburn, nauseau, and a baby that was kicking in the womb so hard I had shooting pains in my various regions. To make matters worse, my body also decided to get a sinus infection. My right ear, cheek, and neck hurt so bad it feels like I've been sucker punched.
Sucks, right? I should be pissy and moaning and whallowing in self pity. But with that crap came some of the funniest moments as well today.
Like my hubby being kind enough to plant flowers in the garden that would die by the time I got around to them. Hubby's not a little man, so a gentle, tender touch typically needed with plants wouldn't necessarily be his forte. But he was talking to them, saying things like "here ya go babe, you're home now" or when he was massaging the roots free, he said "tickle, tickle, tickle". I literally laughed out loud!
Or my son, watching out the window with squinted eyes for almost 2 hours while Daddy mowed the lawn. He stared at his Daddy with wild fascination and awe. It was awesome, albeit it was when he *should* have been napping!
And the best part? Hubby totally pampered me, took care of our little man, and did not only the lawnwork but household chores. Little man was also wonderful, going the entire afternoon meltdown-free (which any parent to a toddler knows this is an AMAZING fete!)
In closing, while I could dwell on my woes, I am deciding to look at my wonderful boys and reflect on today as a good day. Although as I type this, my Braxton Hicks are kicking back up again so I can only hope sleep and a reprieve from this madness will be in my near future...
So far I've been very lucky throughout my pregnancy. Other than some nasty morning sickness that lasted a whopping 18 weeks, I've felt fantastic. Well, all poop hit the fan today!
I had contractions all morning, which were so strong that I couldn't stand up straight. I also had heartburn, nauseau, and a baby that was kicking in the womb so hard I had shooting pains in my various regions. To make matters worse, my body also decided to get a sinus infection. My right ear, cheek, and neck hurt so bad it feels like I've been sucker punched.
Sucks, right? I should be pissy and moaning and whallowing in self pity. But with that crap came some of the funniest moments as well today.
Like my hubby being kind enough to plant flowers in the garden that would die by the time I got around to them. Hubby's not a little man, so a gentle, tender touch typically needed with plants wouldn't necessarily be his forte. But he was talking to them, saying things like "here ya go babe, you're home now" or when he was massaging the roots free, he said "tickle, tickle, tickle". I literally laughed out loud!
Or my son, watching out the window with squinted eyes for almost 2 hours while Daddy mowed the lawn. He stared at his Daddy with wild fascination and awe. It was awesome, albeit it was when he *should* have been napping!
And the best part? Hubby totally pampered me, took care of our little man, and did not only the lawnwork but household chores. Little man was also wonderful, going the entire afternoon meltdown-free (which any parent to a toddler knows this is an AMAZING fete!)
In closing, while I could dwell on my woes, I am deciding to look at my wonderful boys and reflect on today as a good day. Although as I type this, my Braxton Hicks are kicking back up again so I can only hope sleep and a reprieve from this madness will be in my near future...
4.27.2009
Keep the Winkie in thy Pants
I came across an article and literally had to laugh out loud. If you want to read it, go to http://www.slate.com/id/2216714/?GT1=38001.
Basically, a man claims to have cheated on his wife unknowlingly while under the influence of Ambien. I don't know about you, but if my husband ever tries to use this as an alibi to be a philanderer, he will be quickly hearing from a divorce attorney!
Basically, a man claims to have cheated on his wife unknowlingly while under the influence of Ambien. I don't know about you, but if my husband ever tries to use this as an alibi to be a philanderer, he will be quickly hearing from a divorce attorney!
4.24.2009
Interesting Article
We moms all know that you can't always protect your child. We also know that while we want to run to the rescue any time life hands our children a setback or challenge, we have to sometimes sit back and let them figure it out for themselves...even if that means they'll fail.
Yeah yeah yeah. We know it, we hear it from our parents, we read it in articles. But if you're like me, you don't always follow this advice. I admit I shelter Peyton from more than I should but I simply can't help it. Maybe this will change when #2 arrives. Who knows? Either way, I read this article on MSN and thought it was interesting, albeit rehashed stuff I already know.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/family-parenting/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=18915188>1=32001
It's never bad to refresh yourself with why it's important to be less protective from time to time. I mean, the last thing I want to do is raise a titty baby like my poor husband (who happens to be the baby and is still sucking at the teet of his mum). *Shudder!!!*
Yeah yeah yeah. We know it, we hear it from our parents, we read it in articles. But if you're like me, you don't always follow this advice. I admit I shelter Peyton from more than I should but I simply can't help it. Maybe this will change when #2 arrives. Who knows? Either way, I read this article on MSN and thought it was interesting, albeit rehashed stuff I already know.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/family-parenting/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=18915188>1=32001
It's never bad to refresh yourself with why it's important to be less protective from time to time. I mean, the last thing I want to do is raise a titty baby like my poor husband (who happens to be the baby and is still sucking at the teet of his mum). *Shudder!!!*
4.23.2009
Piss Poor Aim
What is it about my husband that makes his willy so hard to control? He urinates all over the bathroom!
Cleaning today, I found the smelly stuff on the toilet lid, seat, and bowl, not to mention the floor and wall. I know what he's packin' and there's no reason he can't keep it under control and make it into the bowl...
Cleaning today, I found the smelly stuff on the toilet lid, seat, and bowl, not to mention the floor and wall. I know what he's packin' and there's no reason he can't keep it under control and make it into the bowl...
Another Day...Another Adventure
Today I finally succummed to the fact that I need to buy maternity clothes. Yes, I know, I'm 29 weeks and I should have succummed to that a long time ago but I have resisted.
Thanks to my resistance, I was in a pickle...
I have absolutely NO summer maternity attire and it's hitting 82 degrees tomorrow. Oye! So my little man, Peyton, and I headed to the mall on a quest for an outfit or two. As if that wasn't enough of a challenge, I'm also a curvy 6-footer. Basically, pants fit like capris, capris fit like shorts, and shorts fit like skivvies. It's hard enough to find normal clothes that fit but maternity clothes? An impossibility. All I was looking for were a few skirts, figuring skirts fit everyone. And guess what? THERE AREN'T ANY MATERNITY SUMMER SKIRTS OUT THERE! WTF?!
Two hours, 8 stores, and $80 later, I walked away with a single tank and a pair of capris. I'm still on the prowl for a couple maternity skirts and am certain the moment I find one I will no longer be pregnant.
Mutha Fricka.
Thanks to my resistance, I was in a pickle...
I have absolutely NO summer maternity attire and it's hitting 82 degrees tomorrow. Oye! So my little man, Peyton, and I headed to the mall on a quest for an outfit or two. As if that wasn't enough of a challenge, I'm also a curvy 6-footer. Basically, pants fit like capris, capris fit like shorts, and shorts fit like skivvies. It's hard enough to find normal clothes that fit but maternity clothes? An impossibility. All I was looking for were a few skirts, figuring skirts fit everyone. And guess what? THERE AREN'T ANY MATERNITY SUMMER SKIRTS OUT THERE! WTF?!
Two hours, 8 stores, and $80 later, I walked away with a single tank and a pair of capris. I'm still on the prowl for a couple maternity skirts and am certain the moment I find one I will no longer be pregnant.
Mutha Fricka.
4.22.2009
Ahhh, My Own Blog
Hello All!
Having my own forum to talk, talk, talk has been loooong overdue. Why it took this long I will never know! But the wait is over: here I am cyberworld, to clutter up the already cluttered space of blogging.
My site is not your typical Motherhood site. I mean, yes, I am a mother. But there are many facets to my life and I plan on covering every comical, quirky one. From my husband of 11 years to my son and one in the oven, nothing is off limits. I encourage you all to share your stories as well. This is a place for all women, and very secure men, to sit down and enjoy.
Welcome! I hope you enjoy the ride. And if you do, pass the good word along. I'm ready to take over this joint!
Having my own forum to talk, talk, talk has been loooong overdue. Why it took this long I will never know! But the wait is over: here I am cyberworld, to clutter up the already cluttered space of blogging.
My site is not your typical Motherhood site. I mean, yes, I am a mother. But there are many facets to my life and I plan on covering every comical, quirky one. From my husband of 11 years to my son and one in the oven, nothing is off limits. I encourage you all to share your stories as well. This is a place for all women, and very secure men, to sit down and enjoy.
Welcome! I hope you enjoy the ride. And if you do, pass the good word along. I'm ready to take over this joint!
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