Lazy Sack of Bones

Who thought being pregnant would make you too lazy to do even something as simple as blog?! I am so exhausted lately the mere thought of firing the laptop up makes me wanna take a nap.

To my handful of followers, I'm sorry for the neglect. I suck. And I admit it. But I'll try to be better. I pinkie swear!

Get In My Belly!

I have been stricken with the preggo curse.

You know, the one that makes my round belly become a magnet for all things dirty.

I haven't had a clean shirt make it a whole day since the third trimester hit! Just tonight during dinner I had a big ole clump of hot fudge drip all down the buddha. I'm sure my poor stomach warranted a chuckle or two from passers-bye...

Woe Is Me

There are some things "they" keep secret from you before getting pregnant. "They" are friends, family members, and doctors that don't want to scare you into celebacy.

Because if I would have known BEFOREHAND the secret woes that come with pregnancy, I may have reconsidered adoption a little harder.

Things like...

Stretch marks (hey, J.Lo and Posh Spice doesn't have any, so I figured I could get that lucky too)

Hemorroids

Engorged nether regions

Painful ta-ta's

Loss of bladder control

Heartburn. Not just slight heartburn. I'm talking dragon-breathing-fire-heartburn.

Leaking breasts

Huge nipples

Absolute loss of brain power

Hair growing in places you never knew it could

...and I'm sure there's more but my heartburn is kicking and I can't remember anything else right now...

Case In Point

Men are serial jackasses.

Take for instance Jon, AKA the father on Jon & Kate Plus 8. When you're in the public eye for being a family man and father to a huge brood, you lose little things...like privacy!!!

Why would he be seen out on the town with another woman void his wedding ring?! It's such a bummer because infidelity is bad enough. Having it smeared in the public eye is a double whammy. Having children involved is just heartbreaking.

Guilty or innocent, Jon is a jackass. Shame on him.