Holy Guacamole!

Has it really been a couple years since I've blogged? Geesh....this motherhood gig is more time-consuming than I thought. Here are my two years in a nut shell.

I lost 100 pounds.

I was featured in Women's Health Magazine highlighting my weight loss.

I became a personal trainer.

I finally bought my kick-ass Nikon DSLR.

I am venturing into family and child photography.

I have lost friends.

I have gained better friends.

I have wanted to kill my husband via a slow and painful method.

I have loved my husband so much I thought my heart would burst.

I have enjoyed being a "stay at home mommy" to my baby cubs.

I have felt inadequate for not holding a "real" job.

I decided I wanted a third baby.

I changed my mind on wanting a third baby after a day spent with my two neanderthals.

I now dye my hair from necessity rather than vanity.

I blame my kids and husband for necessity of hair dye.

I am an extreme couponer.

I sent my firstborn to preschool. ***sniff sniff***

But hopefully the most significant thing I've done in the past few years is be a great wife, nurturing mommy, stellar friend, and formidable foe.

Hope you're ready for more MJ...I'm back baby, and ready to blog away!

Smarty Pants

"Mommy, I drink water and it goes in belly. Then I go pee and it goes in toilet."

This is a conversation with my two year old as he had a glass of water this morning.

Amazing!

Teeth Rottin' Good Time!

While frosting sugar cookies with my toddler today, I was distracted by my crying baby. Doing what any mommy would do, I walked away from the toddler to tend to the baby. And doing what any toddler would do, he shoved as much frosting in his mouth as he could fit while I wasn't in the room.

Touche kiddo. Touche!

Woe Is Me

There are some things "they" keep secret from you before getting pregnant. "They" are friends, family members, and doctors that don't want to scare you into celebacy.

Because if I would have known BEFOREHAND the secret woes that come with pregnancy, I may have reconsidered adoption a little harder.

Things like...

Stretch marks (hey, J.Lo and Posh Spice doesn't have any, so I figured I could get that lucky too)

Hemorroids

Engorged nether regions

Painful ta-ta's

Loss of bladder control

Heartburn. Not just slight heartburn. I'm talking dragon-breathing-fire-heartburn.

Leaking breasts

Huge nipples

Absolute loss of brain power

Hair growing in places you never knew it could

...and I'm sure there's more but my heartburn is kicking and I can't remember anything else right now...